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Sept 2

Here is a scene in Answer Man that struck me as relevant now that school has commenced.

Enjoy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCnSJSb2q-I

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As we grow up we discover what we CAN do, our limitations. As we grow older we discover what we CAN'T do. For examply last weekend I learned that I can't go on fair rides anymore without getting sick. I can't skate as I once could. Now I think I can't drink coffee anymore bc it hurts my tummy. The machine is breaking down.

The K-Net Arts and Crafts site is up and running. Click Here.

Aug 31

River side..LOL check out the song below..

Aug 28

If you are waiting for life to begin, you're doing it wrong.

Here is a poem, enjoy.

Leaning Into The Afternoons
 
Leaning into the afternoons I cast my sad nets
towards your oceanic eyes.

There in the highest blaze my solitude lengthens and flames,
its arms turning like a drowning man's.

I send out red signals across your absent eyes
that smell like the sea or the beach by a lighthouse.

You keep only darkness, my distant female,
from your regard sometimes the coast of dread emerges.

Leaning into the afternoons I fling my sad nets
to that sea that is thrashed by your oceanic eyes.

The birds of night peck at the first stars
that flash like my soul when I love you.

The night gallops on its shadowy mare
shedding blue tassels over the land.

Pablo Neruda

Aug 25

The art of creating beauty derives from ugliness.
btw i added got the life - korn...

Aug 24

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.  - American beauty
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The false sense that something is missing keeps me restless. As soon as I realize that all my wants won't be satisfied the better off I'll be.  NEVER will they be satisfied..ever! Wants and needs are in two very different categories. In most casts the needs are met, but its when I confuse the wants with the needs that I find myself in trouble. Learning to distinguish these two is the challenge I think we all face.

Photo from the canoetrip.

Aug 22

Spending the day painting, relaxing, and eating. Worry not, I won't leave without giving you something to think about...or not..lol.

"If the history of humanity were the clinical case history of a single human being, the diagnosis would have to be: chronic paranoid, a pathological propensity to commit murder and acts of extreme violence and cruelty against his perceived "enemies" - his own unconsciousness projected outward. Criminally insane, with a few brief lucid intervals." Eckhart Tolle

Aug 21

Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, it's unlikely you will step up and take responsibility for making it so. If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance you may contribute to making a better world. The choice is yours.

Noam Chomsky

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I figure you got 2choices in life: either be a slave in heaven or a star in hell. one of these doesn't have a future.
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Being a man is about having strong hands but being able to be as gentle as a feathers touch.

Got some Petty happening at the bottom..

Aug 20

Here is a video worth watching. for all your parents.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcD4jdwqtDk

Aug 19

Hi everyone! I trust all is well. I just returned from a 9day canoetrip. I am hoping to do a little bit of writing about it but have yet to find the time.

Flint Sky:" Fear. Deep rotting fear. They were infected by it. Did you see? Fear is a sickness. It will crawl into the soul of anyone who engages it. It has tainted your peace already. I did not raise you to see you live with fear. Strike it fro...m your heart. Do not bring it into our village". - Apocalypto....i love that line..i think we've all been effected by fear at some point in our lives. This line struck me in a profound way. I still over coming my own fears in life but its a struggle with winning.

July 30

Might as well start the morning off with some Redbone - "Come and get your love". I think that the thick Nish accent is whats so awesome.

July 29

Its a great morning.I have been insanely busy lately and to be honest I love it. Took the boat out yesterday and found that it relieved a great deal of stress. There is some profoundly calming about being on the water, it feels natural.

Devil inside - INXS is one of my all time favorite songs.

"Here come the world
With the look in its eye
Future uncertain but certainly slight
Look at the faces
Listen to the bells
It's hard to believe we need a place called hell"

July 27

Hello everyone! I have my work cut out for me the next week. There is a art show at the friendship centre on the 3rd that i may or may not be able to join. Sounds like there will be some other awesome local artist attended so please head on down.

Check out the listed song below We Are The People by Empire of the sun.

July 26

A friend of mine invited me out to go sailing. It was truly an experience to remember. I hope one of many.

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Good morning folks. I trust all is well. I will be submitting a few of my paintings to the Blueberry Festival this year. They will be  posted at the A-Frame gallery starting August first and will remain there for a few weeks. There will be a wide ranger of art styles there so I invite you to have a look-see. I was out at a friends filming a music video so I was pleased to attend that last night, learned a great deal. Recently I have started reading Keeper'n Me which is a book by a native author, Richard Wagamese. Its a heart felt, intriguing story of a young mans journey back to the rez after being taken and raised else where. Its a journey of self discovery as a Nishnawbe person, I highly recommend you pick yourself up a copy. anyho I should get back to my painting.

July 21

Here is a poster for the Goodlife benefit concert happening Friday, August 7. Please mark it down on your calendars peoples. (Nice design eh..i did it..hehe) visit the website

July 15

July3

Actually I think Jesse and I will go out hunting Last of the Mohicans style..LOL..Lots happening!! Change happens with or without you, no matter what. i can feel things happening yet i remain still. to remain stagnate is good at times but not always. pretty soon you end up sitting alone watching happiness pass you by...LOL...not sure what i am doing this weekend...fishing for sure, pow-wow maybe, and kenora fireworks, and transformers 2..or maybe just sit at home and watch tv..LOL..

June 30

OMG I found it. Lately I have been watching the Sopranos and find it quite interesting. There is a line that is the best ever!! check it out..its at the end.  OMG Tony RULES!!!

GOD said "for you and for you alone, I have made this place, a kaleidoscope of wonder, to keep your eye upon as I turn, turn the world".

Feels like a sad day, so why not be sad? Here is a song to get ya going..its Ziggy Marley's - Drive. Actually a friend of mine said it made her feel happy-sad..so true.

June 29

Took the boat out, YAY! alone, open water before me, and rain against my face, it was truly heaven on earth.

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Feels like the walls of past wrongs are closing in on me. the need to rectified them is required before trudging into the future with a clean conscience. Dammit why did i ever grow a conscience? lol..jk.

I read this over the weekend. I thought it was very reflective and needed to be passed on. Enjoy.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven by Sherman Alexie
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven, Victor, the narrator, speaks about what he calls the skeletons of the past and the future:

"There are things you should learn. Your past is a skeleton walking onestep behind you, and your future is a skeleton walking one step in front of you . . . Now, these skeletons are made of memories, dreams, and voices. And they can trap you in the in-between, between touching and becoming. But they're not necessarily evil, unless you let them be. What you have to do is keep moving, keep walking, in step with your skeletons . . . no matter what they do, keep walking, keep moving . . ."
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As far as I know, Heaven and Hell only exist on earth.

June 24

"Religion is sitting in a church thinking about fishing.  Spirituality is fishing and thinking about God."

June 22

Awhile back I was asked "why is your website is so plain, aren't you a graphic designer" lol. I get around to it...its on my "to do list". I came to do a quick update. I also added a new tracklist. Come and get your love - Redbone is the original song..it rocks!!

I also wanted to say that "the only sane way to live in this insane world is to be insane"  haha.

When it comes to being an artist there are some rules. These are a just a few things I have come to realize:

1. you can't live on past accomplishments for too long
2. you need to know the rules to break them.
3. being an artist is about putting on a show
4. after awhile you'll start believing your own bullshit.
5. you have to get used to being alone most of the time
6. get used to rejection and "constructive criticism"
7. find inspiration anywhere you can.

June 17

A few days ago I wrote about paying attention to your first conscience thoughts after you get up in the morning. This morning my first thought was "ah no thank you, I had a cheeseburger for lunch, thank you" LOL. naturally my next thought was "where did that come from?!?!"

 June 14

Sunday's warm breeze in the shade.

ahhh yeah...this is what Sundays are for.
"Accept your anger because you know, you understand, that you can take care of it; you can transform it into positive energy."
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I sitting here alone, sipping my coffee, listening to music, and focusing my thoughts in a creative direction. Have you ever payed attention to your conscience thoughts the very first minute you wake up? Next time try and note those thoughts. I think those first few thoughts are a perfect indication of where you are emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.

"race and embrace me in a sea of sin,
break and forsake your vows of virtue,
twice and entice each other in pleasure"
(the start of my new poem)

June 12

At home sick today..sick with despair...hoaw..lol..jk.

btw - Jo, Jess was telling me that it was just you and him play v-ball. if that happens again and your need a solid player, call me. tho i dislike sports in general, that doesn't mean I am not good at them. Jess and I can play it Top Gun style..lol.

June 10

How does one learn to let go of fear? The thing I read about fear is that it doesn't exist. It only exists in our minds, hence its not real. For me I use fear as a shield to protect myself from harm. Yet the truth of it is that fear is only holding me back.  Fear keeps all the greatest things in life out.  - You can quote me on that :-P

Photo Caption: I like this photo bc it reflects life in general.

Mark Twain quotes:

"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one corner of the earth all one's lifetime"

June 9

I have recently developed a liking for typograph, its truly an unique method of design. I have only started to scratch the surface but  its been very enjoyable. I included a poem that I wrote called "foolish dreamer"

June 7

I don't normally posted these, but this is too good not to.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

this morning as i lay in bed i  thought " I am nothing more then a mirage brought forth by countless vain attempts to try and be someone I am not." today is a good day tho...

May 29

Being old does NOT grant you the title of Elder.

During lunch I was downtown picking up some paint supplies, then headed down to the farmers market. I dislike front street, but it was the quickest route. As I was passing the bar I overheard a guy say "oh people don't have respect for their elders nowadays." Now i am prolly taking that statement out of context, yet I instantly thought, "You are standing outside on the steps of a bar at 12:20pm and complaining how nobody respects you. You are not a elder, but just a grumpy old man." When we are taught to respect our elders, they fail to include that an Elder is someone of respect. I firmly believe that to become an Elder one must earn that title. Its not a right of passage granted to you simply bc you are old. It is gained through your tireless effects to helping others. It stems from having a life time of experiences that can be passed on. Its gained by having wisdom, kindness, and humility. Not standing outside a bar and being old.

my rant for the day..:-P

May 28

Lets get some Billie Jean happening here..another all time classic.

Life has a funny way about it, enit, and perturbing at times.

There so many experiences each of us has to go through in order to reach this exact moment. Not all of these are negative experiences but the ones that are often leave their marks. The pain, the suffering and the torment we ensue are those we need to learn from and coop with. They have formed us, shaped us, molded us into the people we are today. I say be grateful for those experiences!! They will help you in the future. They are like battle wounds, emotional scares that have been left upon you only to remind you of the past. Some of us carry around bigger, deeper, more evident scares but scares none the less. They are a conscience reminder of how we can better handle them if or when they arise again. Carry these scares knowing that they have a lesson behind them, they are a nostalgic gateway to the past. Yet we need to learn not to look at them with anger or resentment. They must be acknowledged, not nurtured. Moving beyond the past for a better future is what its all about.

ps. I never thought that gardening tools would be on my list of things I need. lol. Life's funny like that, enit.

May 27

A painting of mine is being published in a book titled INDIGENOUS and tribal PEOPLES: BUILDING ON BIOLOGICAL AND CULT URAL DIVERSITY FOR FOOD AND LIVELIHOOD SECURITY.  Thanks for this so much.

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What song do you like more? Please leave your pick at the bottom, and if you want leave your reason why.

Every Breath you take - the Police
or
With or without you - U2

May 26

I just had a lovely afternoon shopping for plants and flowers with my mother. I must admit that its exciting to get into gardening in the sense that learning about the process of growth is imporant to understand. Jaylynn, I am hoping, will learn to appeiciate the care and nurturing it takes to keep these plants/flower flourishing. Besides its sure makes the yard look more appealing.

Thanks for a wonderful afternoon.

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I am going to do my darnedest to pretend not to enjoy this day..lo

Here is a painting i've been working on over these last few weekends. Its 24x46 acrylic on canvas.
Its incomplete, but I hope to finish it soon.

I do not think the measure of
a civilization
is how tall its buildings
of concrete are,
but rather how well its people
have learned to relate
to their environment and fellow man.
Sun Bear, Chippewa Tribe

May 25

I was watchin the Red Green show and at the end of each episode concludes with the man's pray: "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess." lol
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It feels like a Ron Dougan kinda day. Have a listen.

Jay and I had wonderful weekend, yet again. I came across this photo from a book that was talking about living at the cabin, a place with no clocks. Isn't that something else. I thought wow thats how I want to spend my weekends. Not having to rush around, worried about being late, have no set schedules, or planned events. If you feel like doing something, do it! now thats living, thats freedom.

I just came across this neat video for all those who are full of fear. Its applicable to anyone who is afraid to assert themselves, who is afriad of challenges, and fearful of meeting change face on.

May 21

Perhaps the great version of Everlong by the Foo Fighters. Doesn't this song make the hair on the back of your neck stand up..?!?! "And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again"

May 20

I have uploaded a few new photos to my flickr site, enjoy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/spyderkenny

"I have had to learn the simplest things last" - Charles Olson

Photo Caption: I call this photo of an elder from Big Trout Lake "Humity's Smile" - I get this profound sense of humility from his expression.

I told my friend once that I wished I had the wisdom of a 80year right now, of someone who was all wise. He replied "yeah that sounds good, but the problem is nobody would believe you anyways, they would just think your just crazy". LOL I rephrased the question to state that I would rather have the "humility" and life experience of an 80yr old, to which he replied, "thats better".

May 17

I came across two quotes that I thought are really fascinating.

"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you" - Friedrich Nietzsche (Took me awhile to devise my own interpretation of this one..lol..have fun coming up with your own)

Jaylynn painting a picture the other and yesterday I asked her what it was title. She told me that it was called "Power". I nearly fell over. I could not believe how insightful that was, that painting instantly become my favorite painting ever!!

may 15

One evening I was browsing over a few myknet.org pages and came to a page that had some new songs I hadn't heard before. In an attempt to keep up with the times, I tried to enjoy it. Anyhow, I was listening on a few of these songs and got reminded of the new Transformers movie coming out. I quickly open a new browser window and processed to search for photos. I managed to locate a few post production photos, conceptual designs of the movie. Along with those were photos of Shia Labeouf. Meanwhile, as i was clicking next image, next image, the music in the other window had changed to ABBA. So there I am looking at Shia Labeouf photos and listening to ABBA. At that split second when I realized this I immediately broke into laughter. I thought to myself WTF...LOL.

I think our inability to laugh at ourselves is character flaw. I was rather embarrassed at myself but now I think its just plain funny. If anybody has any stories like that please share.

Fishing season opened today..YAY!! I am gettin excited. There are already tons of boats hording into town. Fishing season also means its time to "get my bronze on baby" - Stewie Griffin

May 13

I am 10,579 days old. So many wasted days and nights..anyways...Find out how old you are at http://www.timeanddate.com/date/duration.html

May 12

I came to a conclusion that "our society seems to think that money grows on trees, and if that were the case, we'd end up cutting down the tree anyways".

Here is one of my latest paintings. Fall's Misty Morning Chill - Acrylic on Canvas 2009

May 11

Here is a very informative 20min video about the Story of STUFF. Its a real eye opener in terms of how our society and its deeply entrenched consumer driven beliefs. This video follows the process of how material goods are extracted, created, purchased, and then discarded. One thing that stood out for me was how the amount of STUFF we buy is meant to make us happy, yet happiness has a whole plummeted, and only continues to fall. I have noticed that when I purchase something there is a sense of happiness that soon follows, but its very short lived. Its a growing problem that needs to be addressed. So I am, as an individual, left with the question: what am I prepared to do about this?

Please take the time to watch this.
http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Had a pretty great weekend. I spent it cutting wood, reading, relaxing, painting, and thinking. LOL.

'Wide is the gate, and broad is the way that leadeth to temptation.'

May 08

Yesterday I was thinking about life and I formulated that its simple. Then I found this quote this morning which sums it up perfectly.

"Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life". Leo Bscaglia

Yesterday I came to the conclusion that while on this earth we have one simple task, to love. To find love, be in love, and to give love. The more love you give the more you get in return. (sadly, we must believe it before we can live it)

May 07

"Happiness adds and multiplies as you divide it with others". Leap

Reminds me of a this Free Hugs Campaign i watched on Youtube a few years back. Its pretty amazing to watch. Its neat to see how we all need a hug every once in awhile.

May 06

The next on my list of greatest songs is The Thrill is Gone - BB. King. I actually had the pleasure of seeing him live in Winnipeg once. Let me tell you that his performance was electrifying, it was as tho he was on a pedestal center stage, and his presents seemed to glow. I guess I would have to say he radiated awesomeness.

Today I have decided that I am plotting my course for the last vestige of solitude within, as I embrace the coming of a more loftier truth. No idea what that means, but I look forward to finding out...lol.

"Long is the way, and hard, that out of Hell leads up to light". - Paradise Lost - John Milton.

May 05

In my humble opinion, "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey is one of the great songs ever! The song includes so many issues that everyone goes tho. Love and lose, doing crazy things for love, finding the one, being alone, taking risks, wanting to take risks, not wanting to, mixed emotions, wine and perfume. Its steeped in metaphors and hosts a wide range of beautifully written poetry. "Shadows searching in the night" - beautiful. My favorite part is "Some were born to sing the blues". Not to mention it includes a piano. Yet above all its classically written with a message of hope "and the journey never ends"

"Dont stop believin
Hold on to the feelin"

May 04

The Timeless way - "It is a process which brings order of nothing but ourselces; it cannot be attained, but it will happen of its own accord, if we will only let it. "- The Timeless way of Building - Christopher Alexander 

April 29

Yesterday I took part in a workshop with a group of researchers. There was one guy in particular who spoke about his experience of living in Canada. Among other many interesting things he talked about, he said "the more I learn the more I don't know". That statement alone opens the door to so many things. It says that I am always willing to learn, I am always open to new ideas, and that knowledge is unlimited. For me I feel the exact same way in terms of my own journey in life. The more I learn, the more I experience, the more I find out, the more I have yet to learn. As soon as one door way opens, there in sues many others to past through.

I can always tell when someone has been reading the book, the Secret. The Secret is no big secret. Its everywhere. I have come across it in many books. Its a universal notion of how we use our thoughts as a method to live our lives. It is, however, full of inspiring stories, quotes, and life lessons. Yet, it seems the more I learn the more I don't know.

"remember the good things for they will aid you in the bad" - Gratitude, be grateful for the things we have in our lives today.

April 28

Memories - the great thing about them is that they are designed to fade. The only problem is that both the good and the bad are susceptible to fading. I always found that I tend to keep only the bad. Remember the good memories of any situation. So surround yourself with the ones that being warmth, for those are the ones that should be kept close to your heart. I guess what it comes down to is what memories you choose to keep alive.

Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

Walk on - U2
"I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on"

April 27

Has anyone ever ran up behind you and with a long stick whipped you across the back of both your legs? HAHA. frickin heck that hurts!! That will teach you never to allow anyone to run up behind you again.

"Paranoid personality disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis characterized by paranoia and a pervasive, long-standing suspiciousness and generalized mistrust of others."

I started reading a book about over coming paranoia, if anybody ever suggests this to you, remember that they are prolly out to get you...LOL. So my question is are you paranoid or paranoid enough? lol

I once said that "if you lead your life with an open heart, good things will come". I wish I could believe it. *shifty eyes

April 24

I like the opening to that song Disturbia by Rihanna. "What's wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? I'm going crazy now"

Have you ever felt like the world just came crashing down on you? I am often left feeling pretty dam helpless. What it ultimately comes down to is that the injustices of the world don't fall on one person, but everyone. I remember what a good friend of mine once told me about that "if we all cleaned up our own back yards then we would be doing our part to help". If we as individuals did our part and contributed to helping ourselves and others, and we all did that, then the world would be a better place. I also think that we all get trapped in our own little lives to see the bigger picture, I know I do.

Its a beautiful world if you choose to see it, but it is also a shitty world if you choose to see that way too. You pick!

"A man's life is what his thoughts make of it." --Marcus Aurelius

April 23

I started watching Bride Wars with Joanne last night. There was this one hilarious scene when the husband and wife are laying bed. She is talking on the phone and he is laying there sleeping. Once her conversation is over she hangs up the phone, then turns to her still sleeping husband and says "you are irritating me". HAHA. The media has portrayed marriage as the end of life, of freedom, of everything. We are constantly exposed to false idea of the typical stupid man/husband and of course the nagging wife. This is not the case for all relationships? Its all for laughs. I think the media has F***ed us over big time! Everything we have ever been taught and shown in the media is one huge waste of time. Sure thats an overstatement and there are good programs worth watching, but its all just for entertainment. Like I read in the Winnipeg Free Press that if you allow your children to grow up watching tv shows like Sex in the city, Friends, etc that their chances of teen pregnancy are twice as likely. They are being taught that they require to be in a relationship to be happy, either that or material items. The negative imagery we are fed everyday can make anybody feel hopeless or slowing breakdown into believing what we are shown. I am guilty of consumerism, for example, if I am feeling bad I will go buy something I am instantly happy. Of course it only last 15-30mins. True happiness or long lasting happiness comes from the things we can't buy. Things like learning a language, learning a new musical instrument, telling someone that you love them, spending time with your kid (s) outside. These are the true gifts for seeking a healthy life.

HOW HOLLYWOOD STEREOTYPED THE NATIVE AMERICANS (watch this...you'll get some idea of what I am talking about.)

Blazing Saddles "Meeting With The Governor" 

April 20

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and
cares,its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed;
we cannot erase a single word we said.
Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow
with all its possible adversities, its burdens,
its large promise and its poor performance;
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,
but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow,
for it is yet to be born.

This leaves only one day, Today.
Any person can fight the battle of just one day.
It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities
Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad,
it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened
Yesterday
and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, live but one day at a time.

Get some Egyptian Empire Horn Track happenin here...(youtube video)

April 19

Why is it a natural response to say "I am OK" when someone asks you if you are? This morning I was walking around the house cleaning and Jaylynn asked me that and immediately I responded with "yeah I am ok". Children are very receptive to their surroundings, more so then adults, and pick up on feelings that come for those around them. When she asked me that I thought how and why I automatically down played how I felt?! When someone asks you if your ok chances are they are aware that something is bothering you, I know thats how it is for me. I do my best to hide my feelings from the world (except for this dam homepage..lol..) but I am pretty transparent. Perhaps when asked if I am if I am ok the next time I will respond with an answer a bit more in depth then "yes I am". I think that talking about whats wrong is ok. On the other hand I don't think I will talk about serious issues with my daughter..lol...not yet aways. The whole point I am driving at is when someone shows concern for you try your best to let those feelings out, rather then letting them fester and grow. The other point, more importantly, is that everything easier said then done. Its funny but I wish I could believe half the shit I write about..lol.

"I have also been troubled to learn that the by-catch raio for the shellfish is up to one in fourteen - that is, one kilo of shrimp caught industrially can result in fourteen kilos of by-catch - marine life killed and thrown away" A exert from Robert Bateman's "Thinking like a Mountain" Isn't that sick! I think about that everytime I see shrimp served and all the other marine life that lost their lives bc of that small plate of food.

April 18

I wish I could make sense of it all.

With the warm spring breeze bringing change and new growth to our mother earth, it has to my life. And with the coming of spring and change more often then not the smell of dog crap fills the air, which is my idea of change. Change is never easy and its terrible unpleasant. Change is, however, the foundation of growth and hopefully leads to personal happiness.

The past - I always think to myself how idiotic people sound when they make statements like "oh i wouldn't change the past bc its made me the person I am today". There are so many things I would change in my past. That statement, however, is true. I only learn from my mistakes, and hopefully I don't replay them again. Albert Einstein once said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". So perhaps I am the idiot.

I don't think that life is anything more then learn, love, and live. Anymore then that it becomes complicated. Keep it simple as my uncle tells me.

April 17

Tipping Point is a book about social trends that are influenced by many factors, and Malcolm Gladwell has done a tremendous amount of research. His studies have lead to many amazing, insightful conclusions about how these social trends start, and become tsunamis. Disease, fashion, pollution, political, etc are all effected by a growing trend that starts off a seed, and grow to become hugely influential in our everyday lives.

Here is an example: Once a neighborhood in the US reaches a population of 20% (thats the Tipping Point which the book is based upon) of African Americans all the white people vacate the area. Makes me think about places like Thunder Bay and Sioux Lookout. Even Dryden is hosting a wider number of Native people. I remember growing up and never seeing any Natives in Dryden, now I am happy to see lots. I don't think there is anything funny about this, its just plain fascinating.

Its an interesting book, I pick it up every time I am at my parents place.

April 16

"Listen up bub, are we delaying the inevitable?"
"If you lead your life with an open heart great things will come."
LOL I was playing around with my camera, this isn't hard to achieve.
I like the idea that there are two sides to everyone,
a good and a bad. Each playing a roll, but its you who determines who wins.

April 15

At times I get this hunch that my life is only beginning, it has a long time ago, I just never realized it. I have always had this lull that I kept waiting for my life to start, that there was this one thing that would make my life whole. The more I read, the more I listen, the more I learn it becomes clearer that the inner thoughts mirror the outer world. The truth is that life happens with or without you. Why not jump on board?!?!

I asked a friend of mine if he would teach me how to sail, and he agreed. I am stoked about learning how to sail. Sailing its always been a fantasy of mine. The dream of being on the open water with nothing but your wits, skills, and nature at her finest. Sailing, in my opinion, isn't about conquering nature, but working with her to harness the energy of the winds. To become one with your vesssl and the world around you.

I am glad people are leaving messages, its nice to hear that some of my thoughts can have some sort of impact, good or bad. Preferable good impacts. Its nice to hear a few ideas, and feedback. Feel free to leave a quote, or saying, or thought. Don't feel like you have to hide your message either, just keep it positive.

April 14

Joanne "Kissing is like drinking salted water: you drink and your thirst increases" - Chinese proverb.

"love is the freedom of choice." - Terrence Gorski

This weekend has been a major self reckoning period of my life. I am questioning everything I have ever been taught. I need to unlearn every false sense of self that I have ever built over the course of my life. Redefining who you are is, in my opinion, a important stepping stone for positive change. I have learned that when it comes to seeking advice from someone your trust its best to be honest, they don't want to hear your BS.

If someone wants to listen, then talk.
If someone whats to speak, then listen.

While I was growing up I always felt so alone, all the time, even if I was in a room full of people. Where or how this feeling came about is a mystery. Now I know that I am not alone, and even if I am alone, I am not. I know there is always someone willing to listen and help.

The power of thoughts and how strong they play a roll in my life is overwhelming. Some people think that these thoughts come from the devil (I am not talking about evil evil thoughts..lol...just negative thoughts about someone or yourself). I don't know if there is a devil, but I do know that heaven and hell does exist on earth. I think that wherever your thoughts are, you'll end up in either one of these places. There is another Chinese proverb I like "A bad word whispered will echo a hundred miles."  To me that means that if you say something negative that energy sours into the world. Also that negativity travels with you everywhere you go, and rubs off on others.

I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is I quit smoking 2 months ago, the bad news is that I started again. I lost 3 or 4 pounds over the weekend. Here is a diet for you, don't eat very much, don't sleep, cut wood all day, and smoke cigs like crazy.  For me there is something very therapeutic about cutting wood with the chain saw. There is no greater mental exercise then that to keep your in the moment. Cutting wood requires focus on only that moment, and nothing else. If I start thinking or planning of what piece to cut next, my mind break free and I am liable to make a mistake. I did too, nicked my boot, scary, coulda lost a toe. It was stupid too, and I won't make that mistake again. Why can't like experiences be the same way? Maybe bc we are emotional beings.

April 11

"All the answers to life's riddles can be found in the human heart". - I am sure I am not the first person who came up with something like this, but thats what I thought of last night.

This morning I was flipping tho this book called "You can heal your life" by Louise Hay and sure enough it reads "Love is always the answer to healing of any sort. And the pathways to love is forgiveness. Forgiveness dissolves resentment."

Here is another from A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle "With forgiveness, your identity dissolves, and your true power emerges-the power of Presence. Instead of blaming the darkness, you bring it the light." This is a very enlightening book and anybody that has questions about breaking free of ego, and becoming awaken spiritually, mentally, etc this is the book for you. 

Personally, forgiveness has to start with me. I beat myself up over past wrongs and often allow them to eat away at me. Acceptance is the first step for sure, then go from there.

I often hear people say to me "you think too much", but I ask you how can you not? Granted thinking is a balancing act. On one hand I know I can over think something and drive myself into the ground and on the other there are riddles still left unsolved. I also read somewhere about learning how to switch off your brain using meditation, or relaxations techniques, or tho repetitive work. Again I think its all about balance.

April 10

In my opinion the sooner one learns to conquer their fears and let go of the ego then better off life will be. That is so much easier said then done. Most fear is crippling, unrelenting, and daunting but its all in the mind. Negative thoughts have a way of creating factious scenarios often causing must distress and so much unneeded worry. (Reminds me of this song (youtube video) "so many wasted days and nights" lol wicked hair that guy has....tho that song is more about loving someone who isn't returning your love). So the question I had to ask myself is am I a man who can conquer his fears?

A few week ago I spent the weekend reading the Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, here is a quote from that book. "Each of us must decide: Am I a fun-loving Tigger or am I a sad-sack Eeyore." I think bring an Eeyore is easier..lol.

April 09

Dear Bottle, in my weaker moments I miss the misery you bring.

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Life is nothing but the echo of joy disappearing into the great chasm of misery.
Life is nothing but the occasional burst of laughter rising above the interminable wail of grief.
Life is a horrible little giggle in the midst of a forced death march towards hell.

There is a time when I might have agreed with these quotes from Dedication. I always enjoy reading, or hearing from people who make me think. Alternative views are what open my mind to a greater understanding the world. There is a great quote from Tombstone in which Doc Holiday tell Wyatt that "there is no normal life, just life" or how about this one "what we do in life echo's in eternity". lol.jk

Twisted love stories are always the best. Perhaps life is a twisted love story in a vein attempt to find or hold on to the "one"?

In the end of Dedication his friend tell him - "No. Life is a single skip for joy." I agree with this more....

April 08

The power of addictions (drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc) - Its my conclusion that addictions, at its apex, its pinnacle, are stronger then love but in the end, if you allow it to, love will prevail.

"Trust no one", "leave before left", "assume the worst" these are building blocks to a very lonely life. These concepts are what I have lived my life by. If you live your life by these principle, I guarantee, you'll meet a very unhappy, unfilled life with misery all around. I think fear drives people to the depths of their soul only to find they are all alone, wishing for redemption and restitution. Loneliness lasts a hell of a lot longer then a broken heart. 

Yet what is wrong with being alone? People who are alone aren't often lonely. Being alone and lonely are very two different things. Fear of being alone is often what drives people together, people who otherwise would be better off alone. That's not to say they should be left alone or should not have the right to company. If you can master your fear of being alone and reach contentment within then perhaps you have a chance at holding out for...for the ONE.

I am tired. How do people manage to stay up longer then 8hr intervals! I need a nap..lol.

April 07

Heading out for lunch, even tho there is no food that can satisfy the hunger I have..:-P lol.

I just started reading Sermon on the Mount, very interesting book. Here is an exert from Sermon on the Mount:

"It seems that human nature is very prone to believing what it want to believe, rather then to incur the labor of really searching the Scriptures with an open mind"
"all day long the thoughts that occupy your mind, your secret place, as Jesus calls it, are molding your destiny for good or evil
"we have free will, but our free will lies in our choice of thought"

I have had this plant, or what I thought was a plant, that bloomed the other day from its bud. It was nice. Lifes little triumphs. All it needed was some sun, I suppose thats all we need to break from our buds. neee :-P

April 06

Actions - I was thinking about all the items that people use to define who they are. We use clothing, cars, glasses, books, music, tattoos, rings, etc in the hopes of reflecting our own individuality outward into the world. Yet not matter what we wear or read or look like nothing speaks louder then our actions. So act according to how you want to be seen by others.

The notion that life is about series of connecting the dots has just struck me. Take for instance that hardships each of us face, and the lessons learned. We learn to over come each of these events so that if that happens again we know how to deal with that more efficiently. The tragedy being is that most of us don't learn the first time around, well at least I don't...lol. Maybe I am not making any sense?? I only started thinking about life about two years ago, up until that point I thought I knew it all. lol. How simple life was when I didn't care about it. Now I am learning and growing, and yeah its hard, but it sure beats not caring.

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When I spend too much time in my head it can be crazy..lol. Things start making sense, or they do to a mind in confusion. Our inner desires are often brought to the surface at the most unlikely times. Like I said before "the worst ideas come at the best of times" lol. The past can haunt your as long as your allow them too, and I am "Terrified. Mortified. Petrified. Stupefied... by you" (a quote from A Beautiful Mind). Surrendering to temptation has been one of mans great flaws, the forbidden fruit is always caused many downfalls. And for all those who don't know the grass isn't greener on the other side, its just as tainted. Whenever a case of confusion hits, stop and think. Ask for help, for guidance. I know the answers to a few things, but more often then not I resort to learned behaviors.

I firmly believe tho the power of sharing each other stories we can become united in our struggles. Not just our struggles but our glories, our triumphs.

I am planning a month long canoetrip with my father and whom ever wishes to join. Being on the land has proven that there is a place still left untouched by the chaos. Yet you still carry whatever baggage you have with you into the bush. In Star Wars episode 5 when Luke is being trained by Yoda and Luke goes into the cave. Yoda tells him that he doesn't require his weapons, but he brings them anyways. WHile in the cave he meets Darth Vader. That symbolise our need to let of our are past. Plus that is the guideline for the Secret - Law of Attraction.

Marge Simpson: "I don't want to leave Springfield. I've dug myself into a happy little rut here and I'm not about to hoist myself out of it."- LOL

April 02

Quote: "If you want to be happy, be." - Leo Tolstoy (easier said then done, eh?!?!)
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I can't believe how ignorant people are. I spent the last few minutes skimming thro some of the comments left by this article that was posted on a CBC blog, (Higher mortality rate among native infants called a tragedy)

Here is a few comments left by people:

"The problems are on both sides, and why after all these years are residential schools still being blamed?"
"Wherever the European colonizers went, the indigenous peoples suffered."
"It's not who they are. It's what was done to them."
"If you can't take good care of your babies, stop having them."
" I can't believe that we can accept refugees from war ravaged cesspools who can become upstanding healthy productive citizens within a generation or less, yet our Native population seems crippled by their past and present situation right here at home. "
"Make them pay taxes and work for a living like the rest of us."
"Because people don't want to help someone who does not want to help themself. "

March 31

I heard a brief radio program talking about how to seek happiness. They suggested that you find happiness not by pursuing it directly, but indirectly. Meaning you seek it tho other activities, like sports, reading, painting, singing, praying, respect

"The Buddha describes his teaching as running contrary to the way of the world. The way of the world is the way of desire, and the unenlightened who follow this way flow with the current of desire, seeking happiness by pursuing the objects in which they imagine they will find fulfilment. The Buddha's message of renunciation states exactly the opposite: the pull of desire is to be resisted and eventually abandoned. Desire is to be abandoned not because it is morally evil but because it is a root of suffering. Thus renunciation, turning away from craving and its drive for gratification, becomes the key to happiness, to freedom from the hold of attachment. read more here"

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There is a line from an 80's film called The dream team in which Micheal Keatons character say "ahhh! ah. its great to be young and insane" i tend to agree with him.

The question I have been asking myself is if you had multiple personalities, how would you know? Its not as if your one identity could communicate with the other...lol...for example would you find a bunch of post-it notes all over your house from your other personality..."we need milk!"

March 30

Words of wisdom to live by:

KISS is an acronym for Keep it simple, stupid! used in various contexts.
Here is one you can utilize as a guideline in design. Less is more
Listen twice as much as you speak, keeping modesty strong.
speak less, say more maximize your words, and make them meaningful.

Each of these principles can be applied to life. Lately the notion that I am thinking too much about life and its meaning of it, that i forget to live it. Taking life too seriously is a charater flaw, in the sense that it can consume you. Do you know what happens when you're too busy thinking about life - life is what happens! (i head that somewhere..lol)

If you spend all day contemplating what happens when you pass on, or wondering if there is a God or not, then you're going to get nowhere! Weather you believe or not is besides the point, nobody knows. So perhaps life isn't as complicated as we make it out to be. Perhaps life is about living each day to the best of your ability, and to carry it out in peace and respect for all that we share it with. Then when your time is up, then and only then will the mystery be solved.

The irony being is that as soon as you figure out all the rules, they go and change.

March 29

I found this exert from "One Native Life" by Richard Wagamese that I wanted to share. If you get a chance to read this book its a collection of his publications.

"John Lennon always felt like an Indian to me. In the words and music of this white rock n' roller, I found the essence of the warrior way. That way is not about being bitter or resentful. Its not about getting what you think you're due. Its not about blaming history for the condition of your life. It not about pursuing revenge for injustices. Its about living with soul, about embracing the flame of your spirit and letting it burn brightly. Its about embracing the light of others, too, regardless."

March 23

Calvin and Hobbes

Quote from Calvin: "my whole problem is my mouth moves when i think" LOL...that applies to me at times.

March 19

Jo and I just got back from watching "he's just not that into you" and I immediately had to update my blog...LOL. jk.

March 18

I can be a very narcissistic and cynical person when I get into one of my moods. Joanne has devised a the perfect antidote to dealing with that. Once I get going on one of my rants she turns to me and states "don't even think about finishing that sentence!" It works wonders..LOL. Its all in good fun but cooping with negativity can be daunting, like having one person ruin the atmosphere of the entire group. I guess thats where the expression "if you got nothing nice to say don't say anything" came from huh.

March 16

Over the weekend I was listening to CBC raido program called "Definitely Not the Opera". They were discussing the media slant on man bashing. "Have they gone to far in making fun of men or not far enough"? You see typical "dumb guy" all the time on sitcoms, commercials, and movies. I didn't pay much attention to most of it but one term that both Joanne and I thought was hilarious was the "Man Cold". A Man Cold is when he gets a cold and turns into a huge baby and starts demanding constant attention and pampering. LOL. I don't get man colds..i prefer to be left alone when I am sick..lol.

March 13

I can see the attraction of living in a city. The anonymity of being in a sea of people is appealing if you don't want to be seen. When you've stood out your entire life, the thought of being able to blend in to the crowd has my attention. Though I have no intend on moving to a city, its the notion that is attractive.

Only after the last tree has been cut down, only after the last river has been poisoned, only after the last fish has been caught, only then will you find that money cannot be eaten. - Cree prophecy
I've been wondering if I would be considered a Nerd. The verdict is in and NO I am not a nerd. Not that I think there is anything wrong with being a nerd, nor do I like that word, yet there is no better word that describes a person who is. We all have our own idea or definition of what a nerd is but for me I think there are various degrees of nerdiness. One thing that dawned on me was i think a nerd is someone who has no 'real' issues so they go out and find creative ways of getting into or developing issues..they are generally normal, yet with 'super powers' in various intellectual ways. Social out casts that don't really see the world as others might, not ego driven...this is turning rather judgmental so i will stop. The point is..if i were a nerd I would be dam proud of it.

I can however do nerdy things...I do see the appeal of comic books, fantasy, and sci-fi movies, etc. In fact last night I started getting into a Terry Books novel, which was completely different then what I have been reading. I found it a very enjoyable method of escaping into a world unlike this one. Also this morning I did find a Lego Millennium Falcon someone had made..it was totally COOL!!! It also reminded me of this time that I wanted to buy a huge Millennium Falcon toy at walmart but Jo wouldn't let me :-<. It was like 170.00 but in my opinion well worth it...it wasn't that she wouldn't let me its just she didn't think i was serious..lol...next time Jo promised me I could buy it....love ya.

March 12

Photo taken on March 8th. A beautiful morning to greet Joanne on her birthday.

March 04

Congrats Joanne on the new Job. Sounds exciting.

I was watching Star Wars Clone wars on tv the day. In the story the Jedi's are forced to trash land on an alien plant, and left destitute. They eventually find a peace loving society that has retreated to a place of harmony. While there the Jedi learn from the natives about their ways. The natives question how the Jedi can justify fighting for peace? Violence against Violence made no sense. I often wondered that myself. If you want to learn about anything watch Star Wars its full of religion, love, peace, war, and anything in between.

I was also thinking about how if there was a neighboring alien socialization close by within our galaxy, how would we treat them? If they are a peace loving, yet primitive species, would we introduce them to our own beliefs? Or would be leave them to their own methods social order?

If history has taught us anything its that we would enforce our belief systems upon them. I bet and guarantee that within a matter of a few years their whole community structure would break down. Greed and corruption would run riot. Our need for conformity is so strong that it over powers rational thoughts. What makes us so right?

March 01

Jaylynn and I enjoyed a evening snack, after which I instructed her to wash her hands. And to whit she said "you didn't either".  I felt like a hypocrite. Lessons learned each day are a blessing and I feel that she is my greatest teacher.

Photo: Jaylynn being silly and goofy.

By: Joanne

Feb 27

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeOlUd3uSBU

Here is another one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXbFuNQwTbs

Feb 25

I stayed up late last night working on this poster that I will soon be getting printed. Joanne and I are going to be created these types of posters, this poster the Art of War is to start things off. Its a very intriguing book and can be used in all walks of life.

Feb 24

Listening to Joanne's music is pretty interesting. Jaylynn and I had the song Dangerous by Roxette stuck in our heads over the weekend. Both of us would periodically break into song. "Hold on tight, You know she's a little bit dangerous, She's got what it takes to make ends meet". I have added to my ipod...for Jaylynn. LOL.

Feb 14

Happy Valentines Joanne!

Feb 13

I know its not Valentines yet, but I thought I'd give u a pre-valentines card. This card says its all Joanne. hehe....omg...HAHA

Quote: Never spend your money before you have earned it.- Thomas Jefferson

Note: I am slowly learning how to have "casual" conversations with people. Its a long time
coming..lol.

Feb 11

With the approach of Valentines I am getting excited. I can't wait the be romanced. lol.

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For a website I was helping design we wanted to use post-it notes as the side links. So I went browsing to find some examples of what they look like. I came across some moderately funny photos.

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Arrested Development is still one of my fave shows. There is one episode with the 'sad-walk' that cracks me up. Here is a clip

Some guy even did a youtube video of him doing the sad walk in front of the Fox Network build after the show was canceled.

Feb 10

Who really is the beast, man or wolf?

I have recently finish reading "Never Cry Wolf" by Farley Mowat. Its a fairly insightful story about how we, humans, demonize anything and everything that we don't know or chose not to accept. Its a reflection of humanities need for security from the unknown. By the elimination of the wolf the harmony of life is restored, or so we think.

Yet upon closer investigation of the wolves and their lifestyle it is clear and evident that they maintain the delicate balance in the food chain. The wolf and caribou have is a mutual and unspoken relationship which benefits each other. Wolves are responsible for weeding out the weak therefore keeping the caribou herd healthy and strong. Without this kinship the caribou would soon perish.

The social family structure of the wolf is one of complete dedication and loving affection for one another. Each member of the family has its roll and duties, each benefitting the whole family.  Not only is the family circle strong but the respect that is given to other neighboring families is very dignified. There is much to be learned from this majestic 'beast'.

The other element in this book that is pertinent is how the government allowed rich people to hunt down hundreds of caribou for sport. Basically what these "great hunters" would  fly over a herd in a plane and gun down as many as possible. Once the slaughter was complete they would take only one or two antlers that were the best.  

The book leaves you thinking about who really is the beast, man or wolf?

Quote from the book: "..there is nothing like the whip of fear to lash men into a fury of destruction". 

Feb 05

I was clipping Jaylynns nails this evening while telling her how important it is to take care of yourself. She looked at me with curious eyes then stuck her finger up her nose. I think she just did that to make me laugh. It was sooooo cute. Anyways this evening I was reading about finding a Spirit spot...LOL...jk..yes i am taking credit for it..LOL. It a pretty neat idear tho. Thanks for sharing that with me Joanne.

Feb 03

Please Read, its something we all can adapt into our habits.

Can You Pass The Triple Filter Test?

When should you pass news on and when should you keep it to yourself?

A scholar in ancient Baghdad was said to be unusually wise. One day an
acquaintance met the great scholar and said, "Do you know what I just heard
about your friend?"

"Wait," the scholar replied. "Before you continue, let me ask a question. Is
what you are about to tell me the truth?"

"I don't know," the man said.

"All right," said the scholar. "You don't know if it's true. Let me ask
another question. Is what you are about to tell me good?"

"No, it isn't!" the man replied.

"Then allow me to ask a third question. Is what you are about to tell useful
to me?" asked the scholar.

"No, it is not useful," said the man.

Then the scholar said, "If it may not be true, if it is not good and it is
not useful, then why do you want to tell me at all?"

Does your news pass the triple filter test? Ask yourself these questions
before you speak: Is what I am about to say the truth? Is it good? And is it
useful? If you can answer yes to only two of these questions, be careful
about what you pass along. But if what you are about to tell passes all
three filters, then it should be told.

Feb 02

We are almost of the cold winter hump.

Am I going to be one of those guys who works too much? Will I start giving up my weekends? Will I spend my life working only to realize it was all for the wrong things?

Note: I just watched the trailer for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Looks pretty wild! I hope something horrible happens to Bubble Bee..lol..jk.

Jan 30

Daydreaming about being on the boat. Before I set out on the boat for a day of fishing I recite "... and the sea will grant each man new hope, as sleep brings dreams of home." Christopher Columbus. haha..jk...thats from the Hunt for Red October...lol. 

Jan 29

Here is a poem that I wrote when a bout of sadness hit me. I think releasing feelings instead of letting them plaguing you is a key to maintaining balance within. The reason why I decided to share it is so that you can see that there is a flip side to everything, love&hate, peace&war, the Ying&Yangs of life. Writing is no different. I am reminded of that movie Desperado when he is talking about writing a song and how its "Easier to destroy than create". For me its easier to write about this kinda of stuff, but I would rather write about the good things in life.

Quote:" the only limitation to LOVE is what you put into it" C.Kenny

Jan 28

When it comes to your health personal choices is what it boils down to. How you chose to abuse your body is a choice, it always has been! I heard a medical professional speak about how we as a society pollute our bodies by lack of excessive and poor diets and then expect the doctors to fix us. Individuals are so wrapped up in their own issues that we forget to take care of ourselves, and when there is a problem we come running. I my opinion its all about preventative measures. If you make health choices now then you are far less likely to experience health related issues in the future.  Those doctors words plays a huge impact on me in terms of how i eat, and more importantly what i allow my daughter to eat. Simple habbits can go a long way.  I don't let her drink pop or chips unless its a special occasion,  and never before 12:00. I wish I had more time to get in this...but it seems that time is a luxury there seems to be a shortage of...

Here is some more insight into this problem from Bill Maher. His opinions and ontroversial, crynical insights have always been "food for thought" I am a fan! Funny but True Facts About Big Pharma View youtube video here

"it won't stop until we stop making ourselves sick"
"....there is no money in health people"
"just as the Pharmacy they are ad Weasel.."

Jan 27

Into a future drawn by my own ill misconceived imagination, praying only for guidance.

What thoughts haunt you when you're alone in the dark? Do the demons of the past come crawl'in? Do the thoughts of misery snake their way back into your mind? HAHA..i am just teasin. Actually last night I was awaken by thoughts of work and a presentations I have to work on. My first inclination was to abandon my responsibilities, but the virtue of my obligations will not allow me. Public speaking isn't one of my fortes. In my opinion its about letting go of the fear of making an ass of yourself. Once you get past that then you're on your way..there is much more.

When it comes to additions, weather it be gambling, drugs, or alcohol, I think that "your glory walks hand in hand with your doom".At least it was for me.

Photo: JL and I. This photo is a great depiction of how things are between her and I. Jaylynn has proven time and time again that there isn't much she can't do once she puts her mind to it. I bought her a snowboard last week and so far she is without a doubt a natural. Its now my job to support her and try desperately keep up to her...lol.

Jan 21

I have been reminiscing with myself the day that you and I met. A serendipitous turn of events, a unrehearsed and unplanned meeting. Yet turned into a day filled with ecstatic, erotic electricity.  I gazed up at you for down low, as you stood on your plateau, perched like a angel that landed just for me. The light from the glaring sun caught your silhouette and held my sight as it was fixated upon your beauty. I was unable to turn away. It was at this pointed you profoundly and very starkly asked "are you stalking me?!?!" Obviously, like a movie, whatever theme montage that was playing in the background was abruptly cut short. LOL. I save the best details that day for myself .....;)

Moments and memories we both shared which left imprints on a forever changed minds.

Love you too Joanne!

Jan 20

A man who is truly awe inspiring, Barack Obama: The Hope I got choked up watching this video. I was thinking that "I would follow this man to war" but that mentality is exactly what we must change. Instead it should be "i would follow that man into peace!"  Barako Obama's inauguration was today, I hope you caught it.

"...symphony of brotherhood" - what an amazing concept I am not sure who said that...sounds like Jesse Jackson.

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This is one touching song! There is a true exodus of emotion when a collaboration of musicians are orchestrated. To me this video shows how we are all separated due to geographic location, yet we all have the same needs.

Jan 19

We are all talking with nobody listening.

I had a sort of epiphany the other day that we, as a society in general, work for the wrong thing: money. After reflecting on my day it dawned on me that the 8hrs we spend at the office leaves us drained of energy. This lack of energy takes away from what our jobs actually should be, raising our children. Each morning, rather than spending the most productive and energetic time at work it should be directed and spend with our children. If we were given more time in the mornings to spend with our children they would receive the better part of our days when, we as parents, are well rested. (There is a loop hole in this concept tho, in the sense that people would just abuse this by utilizing this extra time to sleep in..lol.)I often joked that my real job begins when I get home after spending the day at work. We live a backwards way of life.

Lost Generation: This is Brilliant - a must see

Photo: Miss Jay with her new snowboard. She is very good at balancing herself on that board and enjoys her time playing on the hill. When I was out making that snow hill I was reminded about Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams in which he mentioned that if your child wants to paint the walls of their room, let them!  Let your child be creative and explore ways of thinking that don't derive from the TV, and as a parent support that as much as you can. It helps activate that creative imagination that we are all born with.

Jan 16

The calm before the storm.

The past has an interesting way of resurfacing when you least expect it. No matter how far you run or how much you change it will always be there. Fine! Accept it right?!?! I often hear people say "if i could to do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing" - I think that horse s***! If I could do it over again there are a lot of things I would do differently. Yet it's true that the our past experiences made us who we are today. Perhaps it isn't the past that bothers me so much but rather the future. I think the future has a way of playing tricks on us.

I have been working on a video that deals with a very sensitive subject and I am finding it emotionally draining. How do we create a future for people who feel aimless? How do we instill a sense of meaning in their lives? I recall my days when I was aimless, no care in the world, and no plans for the future. Perhaps that is freedom, to some degree, but it is also about how you utilize that freedom.

Quote: "He who seeks vengeance must dig two graves: one for his enemy and one for himself" - Chinese proverb

Wolverine the movie is coming out in May......it doesn't look that amazing.

Jan 15

Pride and greed at its finest!

Some people believe money is the root of all evil. I think money does play a huge roll in how we interpret the world and what we see as valuable. We work to live right, but most of what we work for are things, useless stuff. I am horrified when shopping in a store with nothing but junk. I feel a sense of wasted energy is spend in the production of this garbage. Have you ever noticed the feeling of security or comfort you get when you have been shopping? For me there is a false sense of happiness when I am done shopping. I don't think money is evil but it is used to gain the wrong things in life. Money and power always has a way of changing even the most incorruptible people. I often joked about "never give a indian fame or fortune bc they don't know how to handle it". Basically any sense of modesty they once had is thrown right out the window and they are suddenly too good for everyone else. This applies to just about anybody tho, not just indians. I have had many delusions of grandeur where my ego was let loss and I find myself straying too far from my beliefs. To engrossed yourself too deeply in issues of self or worldly problems can be damaging, so I always have to remember to keep myself in check.

Quote: "God gave us the freedom of choice and look what we did with it" - to put this quote into context it was referring to addictions.

PS. now if u can excuse me i am off to Walmart..lol..jk.

Jan 12, 2009

hello to all those in favor of a peculiar nature.

Joanne and I were watching Lord of the Rings - extended version and the scenes that were cut brought forth some more character development and background info. One scene in particular caught my attention in the 2nd movie, the Two Towers, where Sam and Frodo encounter the young price Faramir. Faramir gazes over a slain warrior and says "You wonder what his name is, where he came from, and if he was really evil at heart. What lies or threats led him on this long march from home. If he would not rather have stayed there in peace." this is a very powerful statement that reminded me of how people forced into a corner and/or under the right circumstances be driven to do things they wouldn't normally do. 

Note: I just realized something - "The sooner I realize that the world doesn't work the way I think it does the better off I'll be". HAHA

I bought a hockey stick to start practicing my puck handling for when I get drafted into the NHL. I still haven't decided who I will play for but its a toss up between the Leafs or the Canadians, I'll keep you posted. :-P Jaylynn stated "that it takes practice right daddy?!?" There are so many different words of wisdom that we grow up hearing and at the time its annoying. Sayings like "practice makes perfect" and "patients is a virtue".  It isn't untill now that I appreciate the wisdom behind these as related them to my daughter.  I pray that it doesn't take her 28yrs to incorporate them into her life...LOL. 

Jan 8, 2009

We are all in this together!

i think the movies have infected our very psyche to the point that we are deluded into thinking there is this grand life we all must live. Movies have created this perfect life that we all must adjust to or compare ours to. It seems to me that we are constantly fed a steady stream disillusion and we lose our own sense of self in it all. A drowning man in a sea of information. The amount of images and advertising we are exposed to is a total bombardment, and the effects are astounding. I read that 85% of what we learn is from visual images. Its no wonder why we are so impacted by what we see in television. I am often influenced by movies and therefore left with a bitter notion of reality. The more I stare reality in the face the more disillusioned I want become, ignorance is bliss..lol...that works for some.

I think about my grandfather who lived a very simple and practical life on the land. I met him only once when I was very young, and my notion of his life is based upon what I've been told. He spend the majority of his life in the bush and took nothing for granted. Anything he was given was a gift, and treated with respect bc it was so hard to get these. Living off what him and his family need was all he took...and worked for. A life in the bush is an extremely harsh and devoted to working for the things they need to survive. Which leaves very little time for spend thinking...nowadays we have a vast more of "spare" time...living in the bush requires a present in the NOW. So when I think about the comparison, a thought  comes to mind "Idle hands are the devils playground".

I have been doing some research about the epidemic that has now plagued the north, Prescription  Drugs. This is a very sensitive subject that demands discretion, so I will not get into it. But my disposition with this ever growing problem is that we must...we must..i really don't know. "But for the grace of God". The more i learn the less hopeful I become. Btw I am still undecided about hope, yet when it comes to the future and something like this...what else is there besides HOPE?!?!

Quote: Your future is limited by how many excuses you have. - unknown

Notes: Have fun in New Zealand my brother, safe travels.

Jan 5, 2009

Well I've been back to work for exactly 20mins and I am in dire need of a smoke. I quit roughly 10 *bleeping days ago and it was a shaky couple of *bleeping days that were full *bleep *bleep *bleep but it was *bleep worth it, at least I *bleeping think so.....*bleep.  :-P actually it wasn't that hard once I put my mind to it. A wise man once told that to me " that once I put my mind to something I can do anything" - Roy M. Now that I am at work its hard to escape my state of complete "zombishism", my lack enthusiasm at the tasks at hand is need of a attitude adjustment. Its all about perspective..lol. 

I was just thinking..what is your perfect idea of your life? If you were given everything you ever wanted what would that idea of life be? Don't generalize it by saying "being happy, in love, etc" be specific. I think if you can figure that out, your on your way to reaching that idea. Finding your dreams isn't always easy, but perhaps its more about creating them?!?! I think we need a deep sense of satisfaction in the work we do. For me there is nothing more, in terms of working, gratifying then spending the day out cutting and hauling wood. There is nothing like the security of knowing your basement is full of wood ready to be burnt and feeling the warmth it supplies. :->

There is a line in P.S. I love that I wish wasn't applicable to me "You gotta be rich to be insane. Losing your mind is not a luxury for the middle class."

Dec 30, 2008

A very big Congratulations for my sisters engagement, wow! I wish I had something more endearing to say other then this is truly very welcoming news. Love you sis.

Its was a busy week getting ready for xmas, and now its time to deal with the aftermath of it all. This last week has been a total blast, spending it with my loved ones. eating, sliding/skiing, traveling, etc. This time of year is meant to be filled with love, joy and happiness. Yet the vast under current of resentment (s) is often brought to the surface and causes hurt and disruption within. I rarely get involved with other peoples problems unless asked. There are many things that I don't get involved with and its not bc I don't care its just I can often make things worse. Plus I try and mind my own business and above all "Live drama free!!"

I visited a site that is worth reading, interesting stuff about people and the secrets they harbor. This  site was created to allow people to submit their secrets on a postcard. http://postsecret.blogspot.com

It seems like anything or anybody that tries to make a positive change in the world is held back or prevented from helping by the government, religious group, institutes, etc. Anything or anyone that upsets the established order will be met with opposition. If you disrupt the order of things then you are considered a rebel/rogue that will be cast out or silenced. If I am ever content with the norm then please wake me up. If I ever accept the world for what it is now then I have given up! If I ever refuse to grow then I have stopped dreaming! Accepting things for what they are is ok, but its also knowing that things can be better. Joanne read me a phrases from a book which went something like this "Its better to influence change then enforce it."  

Quotes:  I have started reading Into the Wild. I have shared a lot of his ideologies and notions of society, yet I was never brave enough to actually go live in the wild. Yesterday, while on our way back from Kenora, Joanne told me that I should act upon ideas and let things grow. Things that I have thought about and things I would like to do are often left as forgotten ideas or conclusions....Keep your dreams alive! 

"Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past."— Chris McCandless

"The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences." — Chris McCandless

Dec 19

On our way home the other night Jaylynn was talking about starting up a soccer team in the spring. I asked if I could be on her team. She agreed, then stated that both Brent and Kanina can also be included or inducted into the team. She also when on to included Joanne, Jesse, Seeka, Shoomis and Kokum. Now as of last night I have been booted off the team..lol. I told her she needed to clean up her toys before she watched any tv, which lead to my expulsion from her soccer team..haha.

I watched an incredibly interesting movie last night called "Into the Wild". The story follows a young mans journey in which Chris McCandless leaves everything behind to trek to Alaska. In his journey he finds and concludes concepts that reflect how we live, like not needing anything more then berries to eat, he burns all his money bc money creates caution (attachment), how life is about exploring and enjoying new experiences, and how we living within a society of false security. I know a few people that have hitchhiked across the country and have experienced things that opened their eyes and left them changed. I have, in my teens, fantasized about living in the wild, living off nothing other then what the land provides. Into the Wild is one of the most interesting movies I've watched in a long time, and now I am thinking about reading the book. Here is a link to a photo of Chris and doesn't he look like a happy and content individual?!?!

Yesterday I brought up religion and to kinda continue on with that, weather or not religion works or doesn't work is a losing battle. Trying to convince someone that it works or doesn't is a battle I would not bother with. I think there is something to be gained from all religions. It is worth mentioning that I the Simpsons has some very thought provoking reflections of our society, granted they are often humorous in nature of course. One episode that made me really laugh is when the world was coming to an end all the people in Moe's tavern rushed next door to the church and all the people in church rushed into the bar. Why is that funny...idk..maybe its bc once we are faced with an immediate impending doom our perceptive and beliefs dramatically change. An epiphany transpires within us and a life time of Sin or Saint can be removed or reversed. Why, as humans, are so blinded in our current state of prejudices, and lack of harmony that we can't wake up and live everyday as tho it were our last? I know that I have yet to wake up...

Dec 18

This morning Jaylynn was showing me on her ruler how old she is, then she asked me what 'number i was'. So I showed her by counting 1 to 28 and as I was counting I could see her eyes widen as I continued to count..lol. By visually demonstrating how old I was, compared to her, must have surprised her.

I was doing some online xmas shopping at chapters and checked out the best sellers list. The most popular genre of books appear to be in the fields of anti-religion, self help, and political/global warming changes. The self help books seem to be the most popular tho it is pretty neat to see how people are growing and changing their perspectives. There are a few books which highlight how religion has corrupted and in many cases is the root cause of war, genocide, and is responsible for many ill of our society, past and present. I think religion, if used correctly and in its purity, has the potential to work towards the benefits of life and peace on earth. Sadly thats not the case....religion is a topic I don't feel up to tackling.....lol....yet! ;)
 
I watched an interview of Burton Cummings(Guess Who, famous American Woman) and he related a story about his 6hour encounter with Jim Morrison. Burton was saying how Jim was brilliant in all aspect is life, except self-preservation. For me to hear that to defy all acts of the basic instinct of self preservation goes against nature or God if you feel so inclined. The human race has been given the freedom to choice which, ironically, could be our downfall.

Quote: : “People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” - Jim Morrison (interesting perspective, tho I don't agree with all of it, its still worth reading)

Have a good day, and safe travels.

Dec 16

This photo is title "Be my goddess of divine retribution" lol..jk. As I mentioned before I was asked to participate in a collection of photographs which highlight aboriginal people called I am. This photo was talken by Adrienne Foxkeesic and Brent Wesley.

Note :As I was helping Jaylynn put on her jacket this morning she was talking and cleaning the sleep out her eye then whipped it on my sleeve..lol...as tho it was nothing. I stopped and stared at her before she realized what she had just done..we both just busted out laughing. Silly girl. Joanne has returned home and I miss her. I really hope your enjoying visit and say hi to everyone (expect for you know who..lol..jk) anyways..love ya and travel safe.

Dec 10

Well things are going great! Joanne is home, Jaylynn's bday was a lot of fun, and I am enjoying it all. Love you both more then you know.

Sometimes its hard to accept things going good when you always anticipate something bad happening. Its hard to live in the moment when you are so used to worrying about what will or what might happen. Living in the moment requires a strong sense of how and where you place your thoughts...what you dwell on.  There is a concept I thought of while sliding outside with Jaylynn and thats "thinking like a child". When you think like a child you aren't worrying about bills, what to cook for dinner, busy work schedules, etc...your actually living in the moment and enjoying it. Its hard to adapt into your life but if you can its pretty amazing. So turn off that obsessive thinking and live in the moment. Those other things can wait. 

Quote: In search of satisfaction: Reality minus expectations equals happiness. - Expect Nothing is a Buddha teaching.

I heard once that a child born into this world is given everything, but as time goes on everything is slowly taken away. The creator/god has blessed us with the gift of life and therefore we are given the instincts required for our journey in this world. Yet over time and as we face the negative elements within this world we depart of these true traits and its replaced with the hates of the world. Its like racism - people are not born racist, they are taught it..so anything that can be taught can be unlearned. How do we begin to unlearn behaviors, attitudes, perspectives that are deeply entrenched within our lives?  When will people awake from their own self-destructive lives to see there can be a world where peace and love exist. The sad true is never will that happen...well not in my lifetime. Its something we have to accept and learn to equip ourselves against. Learning how we deal with these is the key to finding peace within ourselves. Now the fight isn't for saving ourselves but for our children, yet the truth is we need to be of sound quality in order to instill them with these good qualities.

Dec 4

Today is a very special day, Its Jaylynns 5th Birthday! I'll stick to the cliche's today..."oh my I can't believe how fast they grow..or I remember when.." I am sure we can all remember those days when people would say that about us. Man I never like that..lol. I never understood or took any interest my own birthday until I had a child of my own. Birthdays are about a celebration of LIFE. To give thanks for the beauty and joy that a child can bring into your life and to the world. Money can't buy these types of gifts, and it isn't until you move past the material objects in life that your begin to see these things.

Jaylynn has been the greatest gift I have ever received, and for that I will be forever grateful.

Happy Birthday Jaylynn!!!

(photo above - Jaylynn in standing on the shores of Lake of the Woods. Its a photo that bring to mind the vastness of facing life and how we stare into the horizon, standing before the future.....)

A Little Canadian Humor, Forget Rednecks,  Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks....

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation With someone who dialed a wrong number,You may live in Canada.

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow During a raging blizzard without flinching, You may live in Canada

If you measure distance in hours, You may live in Canada.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' In the same day and back again, You may live in Canada

If someone in a Home Depot store Offers you assistance and they don't work there, You may live in Canada

Dec 2

John Lennon, (born John Winston Lennon; 9 October 1940 – 8 December 1980) was an English rock musician, singer, writer, songwriter, artist, actor and peace activist who gained worldwide fame as one of the founding members of The Beatles. Lennon along with Paul McCartney formed one of the most influential and successful songwriting partnerships and "wrote some of the most popular music in rock and roll history".

In his solo career, Lennon wrote and recorded many songs such as "Give Peace a Chance" and "Imagine". Lennon revealed his rebellious nature and wit on television, in films such as A Hard Day's Night, in books such as In His Own Write, and in press conferences and interviews. He was controversial through his work as a peace activist, artist, and author. Read more here

Quotes by John Lennon:

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.

All you need is love.

All we are saying is give peace a chance.

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. (my fave)

Dec 1

The xmas count down has begun. Miss Jay's bday is coming up very soon and I am very excited.  Joanne will be coming home very soon too..Yahoo! I started that book on spirituality and came very close to finishing it but within the last 20pages i started reading something else. So last night I made the point of finishing it..lol.

Quote taken from Sun Raising starring Sean Connery: The Japanese have a saying, "Fix the problem, not the blame." Find out what's messed up and fix it. Nobody gets blamed. We're always after who messed up. Their way is better. 

I like the concept that if there is a problem or something goes wrong they work towards fixing it rather then spend wasted time on who is to blame.Its a western method of dealing with problems, and how we spend too much time consumed with who is to blame. This notion of solving problems is applicable in most matters.

Note: I took this photo using a chess board I got, and image of Joanne: "when you are facing an opponent far more superior one must use everything they got..even if you are just a pawn. i took this when i was thinking about how life can be a chess board, and how its not all about wins or defeats, but how you play. as you can see i am playing against someone much stronger then me..lol...and its not about losing its about compromising with the situation. " Love you....

Nov 30

Last Sunday I went out ice climbing with my brother which was a new experience for me. I had done my fair share of rock climbing but this we new for me and I must say quite a bit more difficult. The technique involved in terms of how to use the crampons and ice pick are not what I had anticipated. There is a scene in that movie Vertical Limit where one climber scales this ice face in a matter of minutes which is possible i suppose given that the experience and the ice is just right. My attempt was rather futile..lol...i did however make it to the top after several falls. There was this particular part of the climber where it was completely vertical and I fell. After a moment to catch my breath I realized that it was fear holding me back. Fear of falling or being hurt and then it dawned on me how some people should have gone forward instead of going back. This thought made me conquered the fear and I proceeded to the top. Later as I watched my brother climb up the face with almost no effort, I watched how he was used the equipment and thought that I should have studied his movements before I had gone up...next time tho. Photo by Brent Wesley

Note: I have been learning to accept things more and more...about myself. Acceptance about things I can not change has always held me back, and hindered the future. Acknowledging and accepting is no easy task, but once you do there is a sense of liberation. I will try not to let the past dictate the future.

Quote: from a book called "the power of NOW" but Eckhart Tolle - "If there is an apparent conflict between them (mind and emotion), the thought will be the lie, the emotion will be the truth" I know this quote may seem out of context but its referring to how the mind works with emotions. 

Note 2: Yesterday I was pondering the thought that maybe life is about creating and enjoying new experiences. I think routine and structure is a good method of developing a sense of security but during weekends and time off we can enjoy new activities. Learn how to do something you don't know, or try a sport you always wanted to. I know i've always wanted to learn to play the piano. I know this older person who is 55 and just learning how to play the piano after a lifetime of always wanting too. It reminds me of a Chinese proverb:" the best time to plant a tree is 20yrs ago, the second best time is today"

*cheers....

Nov 28

I sometimes lose my appetite when things get particularly stressful. I was reading last night that if you're angry or upset about something that your body goes into "high alert". When your body is anticipating a conflict of some sort it goes into battle mode, preparing itself for whatever is coming. Your mind becomes occupied and it loses focus, and are easily distracted. This "high alert" state also causes the body to not fully rest at night and we often lose sleep which in turn makes us even more easily agitated. Plus if you stop eating the normal daily amount this also causes malnutrition making the body weaker. If this state of stressful agitation is kept for days on end, well mental break down here we come...how we we combat this from happen...I pray, or meditation(or try too), or relax, or read a book, and/or laugh (i've heard its the best medicine). I'll leave you with a youtube video that always makes me laugh "Steve Patterson Enrique Iglesias"

Lyrics: Here is a song dedicated to....you know who you are. Little Soldiers - Biffy Clyro -  "I'll always say I'm sorry. I'll always say that you were right. I want to make you happy. I only want to make you proud."

Nov 26

Well xmas is steadily approaching and the days are flying by..before I know it I'll be 40..lol. Joanne and I have planned our xmas schedule last night, going over dates/times, what we'll be doing, where we'll be, etc. Almost had to put my foot down a few times..:-P..jk. The nice thing is that we are including a lot of outdoor activities, looking forward to taking photos this holiday.

I started another book last night on Spirituality and am enjoying the stories of how others came to believe. Interesting stuff.

Quote: "The ultimate measure of a man, is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at a time of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King Jr

I thought this was hilarious: the Swear Jar http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJJL5dxgVaM

Note: If we break down the machine breaks down. I was reading a book by the Dalai Lama - A compassionate heart and aside from all the wonderful things he talked about he also talked about how everything we use has been produced by someone. Everything from the cloths on your back, to the house you live in, and the keyboard you are typing with has been made by someone else. I thought that was interesting enough, now think about our food supply. If our food supply ceased to arrive how long would we last? It made me realize how fragile our lives really are and and that thought smashed my false sense of security. If that ever happened we're talking about complete anarchy and survival of the fittest. Scary. If the machine breaks down we break down.

Nov 25

The dictatorship of evil destroys all.

Last night I watched schindler's list. The last time I watched it was when I was in my early teens. I cried while watching this movie and was left with deepening sadness at the acts of humanity. The people that lost everything, including their lives, was horrifying to watch mush less to think actually took place within the last 100yrs. The scope of this topic is too complex for someone like me to really talk about but I will say this: as I was watching it i became overwhelmed and very frighten to think about how everything we've ever built can be torn away from us. Everything you hold dear to you, gone! How you must appriciate what you have today. After I watched this i gave thanks for what I have and for the peace (absence of war) we live in right now. Yet war still exists in the world today...there is war aboard, yet war exists in our very homes. Hope with love and Pray for peace.

Quote for that movie: "Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire." It's Hebrew, it's from the Talmud

Have you ever heard of projective thinking? Its when you start assuming what will happen before it does. For example: if you have to approach someone about an issue so you start thinking what you will say, then what he/she will say. Before you know it your in a heated argument and a word hasn't even been spilled. I have started weekends that way before...thinking that this or that will happen and before I know it the weekend is already ruined before it even started. People say to always expect the worst, but its about not expecting anything, but accepting what happens, when it happens. Projective thinking, in this regard, is a real bad habit.

Note: I wonder if I am being too honest by sharing this stuff? 

Note 2: I am playing with the new music playlist that Jesse is building for myknet.org user..its pretty amazing stuff.

Nov 24

8 more days...YAY!

I woke up mad this morning and that is no way to start your day. I do know why I woke up mad and it all comes back to selfishness. When I don't get what I want there is hell to pay, well at least that how it was. Selfishness, like fear or hatred, is contagious and it infects everyone around you. So let go of that those feelings, and think of love, joy, happiness to pass on to those around you. Once I was aware of this anger within me this morning I quickly accepted it and changed my thoughts to something else. Dwelling on things we can't change is pointless...like the past or being apart. Yet my hypocrisy only gots so far and I do give in to these negative feelings...but its all about growth.

I've been asked to take part in a photo project that two friends (Brent and Adrienne) of mine are working on. Its exciting to be asked to contribute to a project that allows others to be inspired and inspirited. So I will be a subject in their vision, I am honored.  You can view some images and read about the project here: http://adriennefoxkeesic.blogspot.com

Note: "the wait is over" - a line from the new Star Trek  movie. Admittedly I am more of a Star Wars fan, but the Star Trek series is a pretty neat show. Watching the preview reminds me of Jesse (Kirk) and I (Spock) or is it vise verse??!?!..ikd..lol..and of course K-Net is the Enterprise(took me a min to remember the name of the ship)LOL...so awesome. I looks like an exciting movie anyways...the great thing about movies is that its an easy method of escape, where one can build delusions of grandeur and I am good at that. 

Nov 21

Words without action is cheap. There is an expression in documentary film making "talk is cheap" - which basically means without visual representation and showing the viewer what this person is talking about, what good is it?!?! People can talk all they want about what they want or would like to change in their lives. It isn't until you actually put these into action do your words mean anything. Regrettable I am guilty of this, saying how i would like to change this or that but still continue to do it. For example: leading a spiritual life.

The path to living a holistic life is a long and whining one, but the benefits are beyond anything else. There are many types of obstacles that will get in our way but there is no going around, over and underneath these but instead face them straight on. I think i have always tried to find an easier, softer way around these, that the answers would just fall in my lap from above, but it sure don't work like that. Reading, listening to others, and understanding is a good start.

Quote: "listen twice as much as you speak" - unknown

Note: "May all that have life be delivered from suffering" Gautama Buddha
The meaning of the term nirvana, literally "the blowing out" of existence, is not entirely clear. Nirvana is not a place like heaven, but rather an eternal state of being. It is the state in which the law of karma and the rebirth cycle come to an end - though Buddhist conceptions of personal (non-)identity make these notions problematic. Nirvana is the end of suffering; a state where there are no desires, and individual consciousness comes to an end. Attaining nirvana is to relinquish clinging, hatred, and ignorance. Its achievement entails full acceptance of imperfection, impermanence, and interconnectedness. Sometimes "nirvana" is used to refer either to Buddhist heaven or complete nothingness, but most Buddhists would not understand the term in this way.

Nov20

Good morning. Of all the songs i've listen to these last few weeks Love is Noise - Verve is my fave.

Note: Jesse Jackson's speech in 1988

"You must never stop dreaming. Face reality, yes, but don't stop with the way
things are. Dream of things as they ought to be. Dream. Face pain, but love,
hope, faith and dreams will help you rise above the pain. Use hope and
imagination as weapons of survival and progress, but you keep on dreaming,
young America. Dream of peace. Peace is rational and reasonable. War is
irrational in this age, and unwinnable.

Dream of teachers who teach for life and not for a living. Dream of doctors
who are concerned more about public health than private wealth. Dream of
lawyers more concerned about justice than a judgeship. Dream of preachers
who are concerned more about prophecy than profiteering. Dream on the high
road with sound values....

Wherever you are tonight, you can make it. Hold your head high; stick your
chest out. You can make it. It gets dark sometimes, but the morning comes.
Don't you surrender! ... You must not surrender! You may or may not get
there but just know that you're qualified! And you hold on, and hold out! We
must never surrender!! ... Keep hope alive. Keep hope alive! Keep hope
alive! On tomorrow night and beyond, keep hope alive!"

The Platters - for my love Joanne.

Only you can make this change in me
For it's true, you are my destiny
When you hold my hand
I understand the magic that you do
You're my dream come true
My one and only you

Note: While Jaylynn and I were eating dinner she said "i'm 14...no not really...but soon" I almost fell of my chair..LOL.

Nov 18

Its trying to snow out there..this morning it was a clear blue sky yet there was snow falling. I have begun a count down for the return of my beloved Joanne. Actually time has been flying steadily by which makes it easier to bare..lol.  Other then that things have been decent. Jaylynns bday is coming up soon so thats always a fun party. I asked her what kinda of theme she would like to have..."Batman"! she stated..so batman it is. Not sure where she got batman from....we do watch spectacular spiderman most saturday morning. Saturday mornings are usually a special time for making breaky and relaxing...the smell of bacon and coffee really makes it that much more enjoyable.

Note: i don't think the question is whether your paranoid, but is are you paranoid enough? LOL...fear is a pretty crazy emotion and is a notion for which there is no potion...lol..jk.

Nov 14

I just love songs that just pick up...and the energy builds....Jo when you get back we are totally dancing to it...the temptations -shout! turn it up, get off you butt and dance.

Endless Knot—symbolic of Buddha's mind, representing endless wisdom and compassion; reminiscent of the cyclic reality of existence.

Snow Patrol - Crack The Shutters

-------
Crack the shutters open wide
I want to bathe you in the light of day

And just watch you as the rays
Tangle up around your face and body

I could sit for hours
Finding new ways to be awed each minute

Cause the daylight seems to want you
Just as much as I want you

Nov 13

I watched a very special one minute video on youtube Discovery Channel: I Love the World that made my day...you should listen to it first thing in the morning...you'll be singing "boom de yada, boom de yada, boom de yada" all day..hehe.

Last night while cruis'n walmart I stopped dead in my tracks as when I heard the much dreaded xmas music come on.  I looked at lil jay and said "it begins". I actually don't mind the xmas music, but do they have to start so darn early? Plus miss jay wanted to setup the tree last night...lol. I managed to convince her it was too early, but its only a matter of time. Walmart is full of weirdos..i don't know how many people looked at Daylynnies and made some sort of comment...until they see me standing behind her, then they rethought their kind gestures. One old man even said "aww can i take you home" - freaked me out. LynnLynn did however have a great time with the fake dancing santa that was at the entrance, tho is was rather creepy.

Note: Jaylynn has so many nick names.

Nov 12

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder - If your heart remains true, and your love untainted the time away from the one you love will only be stronger. A greater appreciation for them becomes that much more realized and intense. I took this photo of Joanne the summer of '07 after we met for the first time. Its a day that will forever change the course of our lives. The story behind that day is mine to keep, and mine to relive over and over again. In this photo we stopped to take some pictures of swans that were swimming. It was a day to remember - the day I met an indian goddess.

Note: I read this yesterday and thought it was pretty neat.50 Things Everyone Should Know How To Do Most of it is common knowledge but very useful stuff. I was also please to know that I could do the majority of them :-)..I thought that one about learning how to swim was rather humorous.

Nov 10

I have been spending time read, writing, and learning from what others have done and are currently doing to influence change on a social level. The majority of these companies, individuals, foundations focus on various method of change using design. "art influences culture, culture defines society, society is us...". This is nothing new, but is is went we are trying to break free from the bonds that are holding some many captive. Especially if we are trying to influence positive change in our youth. I am apart of a Youth Foundation called Good Life for Young People. 

Here are my thoughts when I designed this poster:

I was thinking about how we are in a state of constant change within the world around us and how each influence that enters our lives affects us. It could be our new favorite song, news from a family member, a book that changed our opinions, or a moment of nostalgia.  Anything that affects your current mood or mind set has those types of changes. I created this little image that incorporating nature as a symbol of that change, and the light that pours through if we are willing to accept that change. Being aware of these changes is about knowing yourself

Note: look to nature for inspiration

Nov 9

I have a confession to make. Legends of the Fall is one of my favorite movies. Its a movie that covers a wide ranger of human conflicts. It deals with war, love, misery, religion, jealously, revenge, loss, family and a number of other issues. The three young brothers have been blinded by ambitions when it comes to the glory of war, believing in what they are doing by joining the war. Perhaps in some hopes to live up to their fathers our 'achievements and involvement in the war he served in. The Colonel (Hopkins) who through his own wisdom and lessons learned, desperately tries to save his sons from making the same mistake. I think that everyone can relate to this movie, not only in the characters but also the things they face. They wrote Tristan (Pitt) character as a middle child, and most middle children often feel neglected by their parents which forces them to 'act out'. Tristan's struggles throughout the film with an inability to live a normal life, whatever that may be. His afflictions with his inner turmoils drives him to the ends of the earth and back. his character is a prime example that one can not achieve peace until a calm inside is reached. Each of the brothers deal with their own ambitions, yet are all deeply scarred. And above all there are indains set in a beautiful landscape, what more do you want in a movie...lol.

Note: i was thinking about how there is no such thing as smooth sailing in the ocean of life. Even when there is moments when the water has calmed, there is always the looming thought of a storm on the horizon. So rather then basking in the sun, we spend our time anxiously anticipating the storm to come, spending much wasted energy. I think the trick is to bask in the sun while it lasts. Living in the NOW and putting this into play takes time and practice, nothing happens over night. Besides if all your/our problems were solved over night, what would we do tomorrow?

Nov 7

The jealous and envy of others is a cost they must pay for their own inability to let go, not ours. 

I writing this from a purely speculative view, simply bc I do suffer from my own ailments. I also would like to say that judgment of me or you or anybody is not something I intend on lavishing in. "Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes" is a saying that I believe.

We all have our own opinions of what greatness is: a leader, someone who is humble, someone wise, someone you respect, someone you love. I think that greatness is flawed. Stained with the inner demons which, right now, are inescapable. I do believe that we all have the potential to be great. Keeping in mind not to diminish the thought that you're not already, rather knowing we can be better. There is a price one must pay for them to reach their greatness, and each cost is different from everybody else. My path is different from yours, but its still the path we choose to follow. Its also important to remember that there is always more then one path to follow, remembering the limitless number of possibilities.

When someone says "accept me for who I am" - that is to say accept them for their past, not their future. I think someone who isn't willing to change who they are in a manner to better themselves, then they just refuses to grow. I feel sadden when I think of someone unwilling to change, or doesn't have the ability to make any change (s). How can you grow or learn from your mistakes if you can't accept yourself? Good and bad. They are in fact blind sighted by their own ignorance. To some ignorance is bliss. The process of personal evolution needs to come from within us, and with the knowledge that change is inevitable.

I am starting to ramble...better stop *smiles. Have a great day, unless you have other plans.

Note: I have been thinking about the idea of there being a universal greeting - a hello, that is so says so much more...like I am your friend and I come in peace. A greeting that can be recognized in all languages, in all religions, all over the world.

Nov 5

I wake up each morning with a mind already speeding down the information highway of self knowledge...lol.

A switch and change of thinking is arriving, slowly. Last night was a huge step down that path with Obama being elected at President. It was a historical day and an important piece to a much bigger picture. To hear Obama speak is enlightening, a leader who can inspire. This has been a rare thing for me, but then again my eyes have only been partly open this last while.

Obama's speech youtube link...

Quotes from his speech last night after his victory:

"this victory alone is not the change we seek, it is only the chance for us to make that change..."

"our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared. A new dawn of American leadership is at hand..to those who tear the world down, we will defeat you, to those who seek peace and security we will support you .."

Last night I picked up another book at my folks place called "Killing the Shaman". I have a problem with starting books and neglecting them once I get about half way. I have 7 or 8 books laying around unfinished and before I know it I have started another. So I need to learn how to finish what I start. I did however find a perfect gift for my special someone...but she'll just have to wait.

Note: we are all in this together

Nov 4

I heard a interesting interview with Farley Mowat last night on the HOUR. He said a few things about humanity that was rather shocking, yet if we continue the way we are then they are true. I think the price we are going to have to pay to save ourselves will be too great, and it will not be a price we will pay, but our children. I am not sure his exact words but Farley said the human race is the most dangerous and destructive creature on the planet, and that we will eventually be our own downfall. He also talked about going to war and how that changed his impression of humanity forever. He basically lost all hope after witnessing the chaos, and atrocities man is capable of inflicting upon it self. Personally I think its more then just the environment at this point, its society in general that needs saving. Look at how we treate each other and how we abuse ourselves. I purchased a flag that I have hung on my bedroom wall that reads Zen - "if there is light in the soul, there is beauty in the person, if there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house, if there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation, if there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world." There is hope..always.

Farley wrote Never Cry Wolf, which I will soon buy and read, but here is a quote about that: "We have doomed the wolf not for what it is, but for what we deliberately and mistakenly perceive it to be -- the mythological epitome of a savage, ruthless killer -- which is, in reality, no more than the reflected image of ourself."

Nov 3

Its hard to articulate a glorious weekend into words. Joanne and I spent a 3 day weekend in Tbay where we enjoyed the 'rich life'..lol. We went to a few movies, relaxed, took some walks, and ate like there was no tomorrow. After a dinner at the Prospector Joanne said "A taste on the lips, forever on the hips" *smiles.  When you spend time with someone you can connect with on more then one level there is only a deeper sense of openness.  Somehow we have out did ourselves yet again. Love you

Note: A world stricken but not beaten. There is a conscience awakening that is taking place in the world. I heard this line that helped me realize a few things and if taken and learned then it can be a method to that change. "keep doing what your doing, you keep getting what you got"! It only works if you try it. There is another one Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Think about it or not..lol.

Peace and Love

Oct30

Take That Rule The World lyric

All the stars are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you
All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you

Cya soon....

Oct 29

Oct 28

My alarm clock is set to the play the radio and I am not waking up to the news any longer. It saddens me to hear about how people destroy each other, how we are destroying ourselves. CBC was doing a story about how children were being abducted to be used as soldiers. To hear about some of the horrible acts that these young people were order to do was unthinkable..I will not get into what exactly, but the movie Blood Diamond pretty much shows it. Yet there is hope, bc thats what a lot of these children, now young adults, speak about..is hope. Hope in regaining their lives.

My morning walks to work are a perfect time to ponder my thoughts, and get a little exercise as well. We are constantly being fed and forced to believe  the we are in a state of persistent chaos, and in part its true. A state of fear is being so deeply entrenched within us each and everyday its no wonder some of us are addicted to chaos. Things only feel right when they are wrong. 

Lately I have been spending my time learning how to control my thoughts..wait..not control...to remove useless chatter. The amount of mental energy consumed by thoughts that you can't do anything about, or thoughts about the past, and anything that is considered useless. I clear my mind by removing those types of thoughts...once i reach a point where I am left with one thought...I quickly fill it with words like love, joy, peace, gratitude, family, and any word that is positive.  This is truly a beautiful world when you can appreciate it.

Checkmate my Love...Joanne.

Design your heart out - i think that once u learn how to channel your creative flow..by letting go of what you already know..u can be free to create from the heart. Clear your mind and let your creative energy pass through you...(but thats easier said then done..lol) I love the conversations we have Joanne.

Oct 27

Jason Mraz - Iam yours

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Oct 25

I have come to the stark, unsettling conclusion that I might be a little bit paranoid...might...or am I???

Oct 23

I have realized that I don't do everything right, but even a broken clock is right twice a day :-)

Oct. 22

If there was Buddhist temple in Sioux I would definitely go and study, but thats not to say I won't learn to acquire enlightenment. 

Buddhist Society for Compassionate Wisdom - "Be quiet, look within and enjoy the healing power of silence. Let go of your sorrow and attachments. Your inner core and wisdom heart remain untouched either by insult or by praise. So have faith in your heart and trust yourself. Sit free from fear and worries. Rely on your true and sincere heart for your meditation. Pay attention and concentrate on your breath. Let peace and happiness prevail and spread through you. Remember that your life is intimately connected with all other life. May all beings benefit from your presence as a living embodiment of peace and happiness."

We could all learn from other cultures, and realize that wisdom is knowledge for the mind and soul.
-----
I was watching The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos who is running a One Million Acts of Green at http://green.cbc.ca. DO your part to keep this world green. http://www.toxicnation.ca/go-toxic-free/top-10-ways

Oct. 20

Unlearning imagination

I was sitting there eating lunch at my aunts and uncles and glanced outside to see the kids play on the swing set. Jordan (aka Carwild) was about to swing from the slide but he stopped..i started to wonder why..if it were me I would have tried that rope to the top of that tree and swung down. It got me to thinking about imaginations, and how my imagination as a boy was wild and full of adventure.  It dawned on me that as adults we slowing lose our imaginations or they become more defined, reduced to the limitations of the natural world. I recall say "imagine this or imagine that"..now I never do. Physical retrains of many types such as gravity, inability to fly, etc...hold us back....yet as children none of those were considered. We unlearn our imaginations as we grow...we don't lose our imaginations we just don't indulge in them as much or as freely.

As a young boy I would have all these crazy ideas and adventures. Example:  I would often imagine being captured by an invading tribal and held against my will. Then having the chieftains daughter falling madly in love with me...wait....that actually happened..right Jo!! :-P...hehe

I guess the point of this rant is to activate your creative imaginations....set no limits, and remember what I was like bring a kid again.

Note: I was doing a bit of reading about 'lucid dreams' -  there are many types of conscienceless as you sleep, and sometimes your conscience is aware that it is dreaming and you have the ability to control your dreams.   I told my friend about it and he said when that happens when he goes flying. I thought "WOW what an amazing thing do to...next time i am going flying". 

Oct. 18

Good morning, I have been working on a poster for goodlifeforyoungpeople.com. Its in the process of being created and i will add it later but I did create another one using Wordle. Its pretty neat.

"Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes. The images you create with Wordle are yours to use however you like."

Here is the image I created using wordle for a foundation that I am apart of:

WAR - There were many moments in my life where i comtemplated joining the army, I am so glad I never did. My world perceptions have changed dramatically, and I have since gained more peace in my heart.

Some days its best not to think and just do. I enjoy working outdoors building something, shoveling dirt, getting excerise or whatever. We just got back from Jaylynns gymnastics class and she is slowly starting to get into it...she is very good at pretty much anything she puts her mind to(so am i, it just took me 28yrs to figure that out...:-P). Anyways...all is good...i am trying to quit smoking so if i fly off the handle then you know why..lol.

NOTE: "YOU feel what your thinking" interesting. I read about that in two books, one by the Dalai Lama and the other by Tolle yet nobody explained it better then Jo. LOL

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.” - Albert Einstein

Cherish the moments spent in the comfort of the one you love, embrace it for it's as close to heaven as you'll get in this brief time we are given on this earth. "..was like a cherry on top to a delicious ice cream sundae" love you.

Well evidently i am a little behinds on the times, but they Adobe released CS4 products back in Sept. A friend sent me this link to view some of the new features Watch here of adobe CS4 Indesign.

art influences culture, culture defines society, society is us...where are the arts now?

Go VOTE!! all hail Megatron!!

Tomorrow is thanksgiving and I have a great many things to be grateful for. Gratitude is a essential aspect of archiving humility within. to be humble in your ways, to have selfless motivations. a good friend of mine always tells me "check your motives". i get a kick out of it bc its true, not to be overly possessive in material matters, or to archive your goals at the cost of hurting someone. Time changes everything and anyone if you allow it too. The process of growth is often paid thro our wrongs,and our defeats..."you learn more from not getting the things you want, then from the things you do". interesting statement. i enjoy so many of the little things in life, the moments of simplicity, enrich my life. I am giving thanks this thanksgiving. peace and love my friends.

Remember to VOTE people..doesn't matter for who, just VOTE dammit!!!

Good morning, wow what a summer, time flies when you're having fun! The love filled the air, the peace of mind endured, and friendships were formed. I am testing out the new myknet.org interface this morning. It incorporates a stunning resemblance to the old myknet which won't confuse too many people. Introducing a whole new look in the hopes of huge advancements can often do more bad then good. Remember when facebook changed to the new look, well there were a wide range of complaints concerning that switch. I am glad we are keeping much of the same format (s). On another note, I have actually quit FB for my own reasons which i will keep a secret. Actually I found that FB had become a bit time consuming and tho it provided a vital lifeline to many of my friends, it created too much maintenance. I enjoyed my time there, and will probably return but for now, my dear listeners, I remain free from the bondage's that FB held me captive for so long.